This Is What Type Of Alcohol You Should Drink Tonight To Forget We’re All On Borrowed Time, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Aries

Boones Farm

Because nothing makes you feel like you’re 19 again and have your whole life ahead of you like drinking four bottles of Boones Farm, amirite?

Taurus

That cheap tequila with the red sombrero on the lid

After all, you might as well get a little festive while you get older and older by the second!

Gemini

Gin and Tonic

Look calm and collected and not like you’ve been contemplating your fate by drinking a nice, cold G&T.

Cancer

Four White Russians

Cozy up with your mortality and a few White Russians. It’ll warm ya right up.

Leo

Fireball*

Burn up the dancefloor and your esophagus with a few shots of good ‘ol Fireball. It’ll make you feel immortal until you wake up the next day with a raging headache. Lol fun!

*Pitbull not included.

Virgo

The red wine of your choice

It’ll make you look/feel like everything is together and that we’re actually not on a spinning rock of death.

Libra

A 6-pack of Miller Lite

Lighten up and forget about the eternal darkness we’ll all eventually be swallowed by with some smooth and refreshing Miller Lite.

Scorpio

Absinthe

Because obviously.

Sagittarius

Literally everything

Have the night of your life and actually welcome the idea of death once you have the hangover from hell the next morning. Cheers!

Capricorn

Chardonnay

It pairs nicely with your existential dread.

Aquarius

Nice ass vodka

Forget your impending doom with the nice ass vodka of your choice.

Pisces

Your tears

No booze for you!!!